Refresh

I’m gonna go ahead and admit that this post is going to be a bit more stream-of-consciousness and ranty than usual. I typically like to plan my posts out, even if they’re spur of the moment, and have some sort of outline, but I’m doing something a bit different here.

How often do you find yourself looking at your phone way too late at night just constantly refreshing the page you were on? The algorithm is exhausted, you’re out of new posts to browse, and you keep swiping down anyway; you should have been asleep two hours ago but maybe, just maybe, if you refresh just one more time you’ll find something new.

You don’t.

This is something I’ve gotten really bad about during the recent COVID-19 pandemic. More and more often I realize I’m sitting at my desk with Facebook open on my computer and Instagram open on my phone, scrolling and refreshing, scrolling and refreshing. I literally just caught myself doing it while writing this post, and I know for a fact that this habit leads to a negative feedback loop; I see what other people my age are doing, feel bad that I’m not doing more with my life, listen to some sad music, feel determined to do better… and refresh Facebook.

A few years ago, I found myself in a similar situation. During breaks at work I’d go sit in my car, eat, and endlessly scroll Facebook. I wasn’t happy with my job, and the constant social media comparisons just compounded the issue. Eventually, I did the only thing I could think to do to get out of the habit.

I deleted Facebook. Well, off of my phone, at least. I left my account active and just checked it at night when I got home, and you know what?

I replaced the Facebook browsing with Reddit. I didn’t completely get rid of the problem. The bright side, though, was that on Reddit I at least got exposure to a wide variety of content. I got to see news, creative content, and relapsed into an addiction to creepypasta and r/NoSleep. Even though I had replaced one vice with another, I realized before long that I was so much happier than I was when I was constantly scrolling Facebook.

I’m not exactly sure when I started using Facebook and other apps so heavily again, but I feel like it’s about time to start weaning myself off of social media again. Don’t get me wrong, I love feeling connected; Facebook is pretty much the only way I’ve kept up with extended family for several years now. It’s also an incredible media and marketing tool. As an artist, I find it important to have an outlet to share my work and connect with people, and social media makes it so much easier than it would be otherwise.

I’ve already more or less dropped Snapchat. That happened a while ago, actually. I’ve been logging in somewhat regularly here recently when I’m extra bored, just to check out stories from friends. Then I remember that I’m not really missing much there and delete the app again. It’s a cycle.

I think what I’m trying to say here is this: social media is a wonderful tool. The ability to stay connected with friends and family no matter where they are is incredible (LINE is the only way I’ve stayed connected to my friends in Japan), but it’s easy to take it too far. Endlessly comparing yourself to your peers is unhealthy. I can pretty confidently say that if you’re not exactly where you want to be in life, social media isn’t necessarily going to make you feel better about it.

I think I’m going to delete my Facebook app again soon. It’s not like I can go much of anywhere right now anyway, and it’ll be better for me not to spend an hour scrolling through it before I even manage to drag myself out of bed in the morning.

Here’s to taking the first steps to leading a healthier, happier lifestyle.